I’m stuck on chapter 9.
Perceval in Love’s chapter 9, that is. As I’ve been going through my notes for the first draft and re-reading the chapters I’d written already, I’ve found it especially difficult to return to the same creative place I was in when I did all that writing. Time has passed. I’ve changed through life experience. My thinking has changed. And yet, I still agree with what I wrote before as far as the sketchy outline I left myself. So the issue is this: how do I find my way back into this story?
I thought it would be so easy. Looking forward to immersing myself in first draft writing work, I had set aside a lot of time in the last month to do the work I thought I needed to do to get back into this story. But it hasn’t worked. This is a first-time experience for me and my writing. But then, it’s also the first series of novels I’ve chosen to write, or that’s chosen me.
Chapter 9 has some Perceval action as well as some Evan Quinn action, and I see it ending with him arriving at Greta’s to have dinner with her and Alex. I have written about 2/3 of the chapter. Then the wall appeared. What is that wall about? What is it made of? Why did it appear?
As I think about this, I realize that at least some of the problem involves what is currently happening in America politically and how that relates to the Perceval series. I’ve written about this before at this blog (and here)– my astonishment and dismay at how accurately I’d predicted the social and political conditions in America during the last 20 years or so, and how I hoped it wouldn’t end up as I’d envisioned it in the novels. America is so close to it right now that it’s scary. And what is “it”? Loss of democracy, perversion of the Constitution, and a fall into the tyranny of economic class rule. So I watch the developments daily and hope that speaking truth to power will not become a treasonous offense. Or that freedom of speech becomes a thing of the past because of one man’s limited connection to reality and honesty.
Every wall I’ve encountered in my writing life has been different, born of different feelings and thoughts, and resolved in ways specific to the causes. My challenge this time is to determine what I have control over and can change, and what I need to ignore. This goes back to my original creative impulse that gave birth to Evan Quinn and his world. I’ve apparently lost touch with that as well. I can easily go back and re-read Perceval’s Secret, and Perceval’s Shadow is still fresh in my mind. I have my file on the future with all the world-building work I have done. I think I need to relieve myself of the pressure I put on myself to use the time I have for writing…for actual writing rather than whatever I may need creatively to do the writing.
We now are about 10 days away from a new year, and I want to take this opportunity to thank all my loyal readers, those who have stuck with this blog through the times I’ve been away, either writing offline or dealing with health issues. I wish you all the best for the holiday season and for 2020! And I hope to continue to see you here…..