After spending all of July 4th working on the first revision of the Aanora story, I wasn’t certain when I’d get that much time again to work on it. I completed over half, exceeding my goal by 18 pages. So it was a good day’s work. Then, as it worked out last weekend, I ended up having all of Sunday afternoon to devote to writing instead of the piecemeal work I usually do on weekends. So I decided to finish the first revision of the Aanora story. And I did.
And I made myself cry.
A complete surprise! As I came to the end of the novella, immersed in that world and the characters, what I’d written made me incredibly sad. I hadn’t thought of it as a sad ending, actually, which is the reason for my surprise. I didn’t think the ending had any kind of emotional punch. It was the ending of that story. Period. But as I was reading that last scene, I started crying, sad for the characters who were saying good-bye. I wasn’t sad that I’d finished the story because I still have work to do on it. I wasn’t sad that I’d never see the characters again because I will.
Now I’m really interested to know how other people will react to the ending, and it will be something I will ask my beta readers. Is it a sad ending?
I’ve wondered also if it’s truly a good thing when something I’ve written affects me emotionally. Is it a good thing when the writing makes the writer laugh? Or cry? Or angry? If it’s someone else’s writing, that’s different. But what about my own writing? If my writing triggers an emotional response in me, does that mean it will trigger an emotional response in readers?
Some time ago, I remember vaguely reading something on the internet somewhere, perhaps a blog post or maybe it was a craft article in a writing magazine, that if a writer’s own words can make herself respond emotionally, especially when the writer knows the characters and story inside and out, it’s a particularly good sign that it will emotionally move readers. What immediately pops into my mind is the opening of the movie Romancing the Stone when Kathleen Turner’s romance novelist character finishes writing a novel in tears. (As a writer, I always wondered which draft she was finishing.) Will it really?
When I finished the first draft, I didn’t cry. I was kind of relieved. I’d finished it. I had already begun to think of the stories that the novella had suggested to me, mulling over when to write them or not, and which one to write first. Then I turned to the two short stories I was also working on. Then I also had a brief period of frustration about working on everything else but not Perceval’s Shadow. It was imperative to leave the Aanora story for a while to ferment. It fermented for 6 weeks during which I rarely gave it a thought. Coming back to it for the first revision felt extremely good, and I was excited to have a whole day to start the work. So my emotional state was not anywhere near where I ended up when I finished the first revision.
Where is Aanora now? I’ve put it away again to ferment some more. I wonder if the ending will make me cry again when I do the second revision?